Don't Forget the Milk

"Hi. I am Another Aspiring Author," she wrote typing slowly. She stared off into space for several long minutes. "I have nothing to say except it is Monday, March 10, 2008." She clears her throat loudly. "Ahem. Milk, bread, macaroni and cheese, dishwashing liquid, 100-watt light bulbs, lemon heads, mint chocolate chip ice cream......."

You ever get the feeling your characters are doing nothing more than reading off a metaphoric grocery list of items you want them to say without any real action behind it? That's pretty much where I am now with my book. They walk, they talk, they nod, they shrug, etc but I'm not sure if it's just words or actual story progression. I'm writing through this feeling because who am I to quibble with progression of any sort? I had typed the sentence "I'm still only writing a handful of words at a time" but after re-reading it realized that's not the mindset I need to be in. Rather, I should say "I am still writing" period. Exclamation point! (Bonus points to anyone who recognizes the slight nod to The Golden Girls) I'm actually right on the verge of an upcoming scene that should be not only creepy but a turning point for my characters. I'm excited about it and can't wait to see how it turns out.

On a side note, I just remembered I also need toilet paper and Twizzlers.

If You Write It They Will Come

Believe it or not, I actually wrote a bit this weekend. Okay, so maybe it was heavy on "a bit" but still writing. When I finished, I looked at my word count just to see if all those extra "actually, really, just, etc" type words I actually really just use way too much helped up my word count and found to my shock I had an overall count of 23,000 odd words. Now unless my multiplying like bunnies theory somehow came true (see previous post), something was seriously off. If you glance to the right, you can clearly see my progress meter is firmly entrenched at 3,905. Maybe my muse had come back while I was playing Dynomite on Yahoo and decide to finish up a few chapters for me? Unfortunately, nothing so dramatic. When I recently started writing again, I pulled out a previous book I had been working on before starting the new Paranormal Romance. This one too is a paranormal but without the romance. I've ingeniously titled it Ghost Story and it's been nagging at my brain for some time now. And the fact that I had completely forgotten about the Paranormal Romance I'd been blathering about for quite a while tells me maybe I was right to return to the previous book. Either that or I have schizophrenia. Actually just really, I'm okay with both.

Well, it took me three days but I managed to write a total of 664 words. This is quite a feat for me seeing as how the only writing I've been doing lately has been confined to my checkbook (damn bills). But I have learned something even through this minuscule amount of writing. A little is better than none and it just might be enough to get the creative blood pumping again. Maybe all I'll be able to manage for a while is a paragraph a day or even every two days, but at least I'm writing and that's what's important. Just glancing over and seeing my progress meter balancing so tantalizing on the edge of 4,000 total words fills me with joy because at least it's finally moving after months of inactivity. My muse may not have come back but that doesn't mean I have to wait around for her twiddling my thumbs (I tried twiddling my thumbs once and it really wasn't all that much fun).

Number of the Day

Just a short post to say that as of 1:45 p.m. (Eastern Standard Time, Check Local Listings), I have actually written 237 words! Oh, sure maybe that only totals up to a few short paragraphs, tiny actually seeing as how most of it is dialogue, but it still counts. And why you might ask am I here posting when I clearly should still be writing? Oh...uh...good point. Back to work!

I Don't Know Who's Bringing SexyBack, But It Ain't Me

Okay...I'm going to admit something here. It's not pretty and it might even be a little pathetic but here goes: ::takes deep breath and clears throat:: "Hello, my name is Another Aspiring Author and I love Justin Timberlake." There, I said it. Judge me if you must. Of course, I'm probably too old to enjoy his music so much, but I can't seem to help myself. I absolutely love his new CD. It's the best collection of dance music I've heard in a long time (aside from Thriller of course). And you know the main reason I'm so enraptured by it? Because I have absolutely no rhythm at all. Can't dance to save my life. Oh sure, I do a pretty good head bob. Unfortunately, the rest of my body gets all confused and I end up looking like a drunken marionette. But when I listen to Justin's CD I feel like I could dance if I really wanted to. The music pulses through me right down to my toes and I forget for a little while how uncoordinated I really am. I think a good book should have the same effect on its reader. The story should take you outside of yourself so you forget your own shortcomings and insecurities. You become the hero/heroine as they do things you'd never imagine you could do yourself but maybe for a moment suddenly feel might be possible. Of course knowing the characters have the same self-doubts as we have also helps draw us in even more. It's a balancing act between the reader's reality and their dreams. I hope I can incorporate this into my own book. Now if only I could learn the Funky Chicken.

Will Work for Chocolate

I saw a link recently to my blog where someone (presumably another hopeful author) had performed a google search trying to find out an author's yearly income in cold, cruel dollars. Unfortunately, they didn't find the answer in my post but it did bring back fond memories of my more naive days when I actually thought all you had to do was sell one book and you'd be golden. Doves would descend from the heavens with bits of chocolate draped in their beaks to bestow upon me while hundred-dollar bills rained down to litter my front yard like annoying leaves. Hey, I didn't say it was smart, just naive. I'm not sure exactly what started this myth. Perhaps the countless Daniel Steele novels turned into Sunday night movies. I know I watched them even if I didn't read her books. Of course that's only one name out of hundreds of authors who are still plugging away at their day jobs and writing on the side. Good authors. Authors who you know will be around for a long time. It could be depressing if you let it, and you know what, sometimes it's okay to indulge. Go ahead. Sigh loudly. Roll your eyes like a teenage girl and say it's not fair. Okay. Got that out of your system? Don't feel bad. We all do it at one time or another. Of course our ultimate goal is to write for a living, but if that's the only reason you're doing it I'd advise you to stop now. You have to write not only because you want to but because you have no other choice. It has to fill something in you that nothing else can. I don't even know if it has a name, but I can feel it every time I sit down with my book. I wouldn't give that up for any amount of money. George Clooney, maybe, but that's another story.

I Can't Believe I Said Critter

Believe it or not, I've been writing quite a bit over the weekend. I took a 14-page synopsis and chopped, slapped, cajoled, and browbeat the angry critter to fit into 11 still too long pages. Only problem is the synopsis wasn't mine. One of my friends, who is a wonderful fantasy writer, is preparing to start the querying process but wanted to get all her ducks in a row before sending anything out. I guess this tells you how new she is if she was asking me for help.....me who has only one novel finished (and not even a very pretty one at that)....me who can't seem to get off page seven of her own new book....me who keeps referring to herself as an annoying pronoun. What really rankles me is how easy this was to do. But of course it would be. After all it wasn't my poor baby being sent out into the cold, cruel world to be ripped open, sneered at, and thrown in a dark corner without even cab fare to get home. But then again, maybe I'm just sensitive.

I've been thinking a lot about critiquing partners lately and how important they can be in the writing process....or at the very least in the querying process. My friend and I traded off chapters from our respective books as we were writing, offering our thoughts for whatever they were worth. Trouble is that though we both enjoyed each other's books, we generally don't read in the particular genre the other writes in. I know good writing is good writing no matter what, but I think familiarity with a given genre certainly helps. She'd never been much of a romance fan (she writes straight fantasy), so I took it as a compliment that she actually enjoyed my story, contemporary romance though it is. I've never read much fantasy aside from the Lord of the Rings Trilogy (and let's be honest that had everything to do with Viggo Mortensen), but I thoroughly enjoyed her story as well. And even though I helped her clean up her grammar and make sure her names and descriptions stayed consistent through the book, I feel I've been the most help to her now as she prepares her query letter and synopsis. An extra set of eyes as well as a truly objective opinion are invaluable when it comes to tweaking these things to within an inch of their life. As writers, we're often too close to really do them justice. We'd sooner give up a toe than cut a sentence we know is imperative to the story. But what do you do when they all seem just as important? You find a good friend/writer who isn't afraid to be brutal and get a little ink on their shirt. And you feed them lots of chocolate....lots and lots of Dove's Chocolate Truffles. Hmmmm...I wonder if that was too subtle?

Do You Write What You Read?

I used to be a voracious reader, scarfing down new books like M&Ms (this message brought to you by the New M&M's Dark - chocolate the way it was meant to be). Then gradually life started to get in the way and I read less and less. I also wrote less and less. Coincidence? Of course not. Only I was too thickheaded to notice at the time. I read because I loved to get lost in the story not because I thought I'd actually learn something from it. I mean reading is supposed to be fun not educational for goodness sake. Blame it on my inexperienced, wide-eyed youth. Hmm...not buying that are you? Okay, blame it on plain old stupidity if you want. Either way, I missed out not only on a whole slew of new authors and good books, but also the chance to be inspired by really great writing. We are what we read right? Or is that eat...damn, I always get my mother-type cliches mixed up. Anyway, I've slowly been trying to rectify this but find I'm having a difficult time trying to figure out what to read. I'm interested in everything from mysteries to paranormals to traditional historical romances. And of course, there's the oft-told advice to read extensively in the genre in which you write. I actually took this to heart over the weekend and picked up a paranormal that looked interesting. I won't name the book because quite frankly it wasn't my cup of tea. And it had nothing at all to do with the writing. The story was a bit too dark for my taste and the heroine didn't strike the right chord with me. Again, this had nothing to do with the writing. The author did an excellent job with the pacing and tension not to mention wonderful worldbuilding (there's that word again). And I realized that even though I probably wouldn't buy another book in that particular series, I could still learn a lot just from a writing standpoint. I'm determined not to give up. Even if the writing had been bad, I guess it would have been a good lesson in what not to write. Of course, if I wanted that, I could just re-read some of my old manuscripts.

Ever since America's Next Top Model aired it's last intellectually stimulating episode, my Wednesday's have been barren and empty. No more Tyra to correct my posture or tweak my strut or do whatever it is she does that makes me alternately laugh and cover my eyes. Fortunately as fate would have it, while channel surfing I stumbled onto my new favorite show. It's called Creature Comforts and it cracks me up. There's actually not much to it. They take real live interviews from various people across the country discussing everything from body image to flying. Nothing special about this in itself...but here's the catch: Instead of showing the people giving the interviews, you hear their words coming from different claymation animals. I couldn't stop laughing. And this got me thinking about why this was so funny. Yes, I'm a sucker for claymation of any sort but seldom does it make me shoot Diet Coke through my nose. And then I realized it wasn't what they were saying so much as how they said it and who was saying it. For instance they had a female pig talking about body image while her mother (also a pig) stood in the background throwing in "helpful" mother-type comments from time to time. A talking pig and her mother. *snicker* Okay, maybe I've been watching too much Nickelodeon.

This also got me thinking about the characters we create in our books and how, if we're not careful, they turn into nothing more than Talking Heads (and no, I'm not referring to the 80's band, though I'll wait if you feel the need to hum a few bars of Burning Down the House). Talk Heads pop up when all you have are lines and lines of dialogue without much else to enhance the scene. Good dialogue of course is essential as long as it serves to move the plot along or shed some insight into the minds of our characters. It doesn't always require dialogue tags or action. But, again, it's not so much what our characters say as how they it. A look, an expression, a tiny movement, even the background of the scene, can all serve to enhance the dialogue and put a frame around it. What a character is doing while they're speaking can reveal just as much about them as a person as their actual words.

So what's my point after all this rambling? Tune into Creature Comforts Mondays at 8:00 pm on CBS. You might learn something. Or shoot soda out of your nose. Either way, somebody will be entertained.

To Write or to Rewrite, That Is The Question

For the past few weeks I've been thinking about my first completed novel and ways I need to integrate a much stronger conflict into the story. I have a few ideas bouncing around in my head but overall haven't been able to bring myself to actually sit down and do it. The more I've thought about it, the harder it is to even visualize changing the story which is ridiculous because I know the book needs work. I don't have children of my own but I imagine it must be like someone coming up to you and saying "I hate to mention this but your child is ugh-ly". You'd probably bitch-slap them right? But wait a minute, what if they have a point? Okay, it's hard to imagine any child warranting that harsh a description but you're telling me maybe they don't need the dirt scrubbed off their face and a comb run through their hair? If only my book was so easy to fix. I feel in a lot ways I'd be going backwards to stop and repair it now. Tightening sentences and enhancing descriptions are one thing, all first drafts need that. Mine needs a complete face lift (hopefully not the scary Burt Reynolds kind), maybe even Botox injections and at this point I'm just not sure it's worth it. I've learned a lot since I first started writing and wonder if this new knowledge wouldn't be best served wrapped around a brand spanking new story. I've had the germ of an idea for a storyline written in my "book o'thoughts" for a while now and have finally decided to try and flesh it out and see where it goes. That's all I have, just an idea. There's a vague outline of the hero and heroine (kinda like the chalk outline of a murder victim at a crime scene which is neither here nor there but makes for great visualization) and not much else. I'm willing to see where it goes.