This Space for Rent

Well, I've officially decided to give up blogging. Unofficially, the decision had already been made since I haven't posted anything in way too long. I simply have nothing to offer now. I'm not giving up on my writing.....it just may be a while before I can throw myself back into it the way I want to. I know my many, many readers will be vastly disappointed (uhh...hi Andrea and Tessa). I'll be transforming back into my former lurk mode and silently cheering on the other writers as I read their blogs and websites, envious yet inspired by their journies, struggles and successes. I'll miss you guys!

Don't Forget the Milk

"Hi. I am Another Aspiring Author," she wrote typing slowly. She stared off into space for several long minutes. "I have nothing to say except it is Monday, March 10, 2008." She clears her throat loudly. "Ahem. Milk, bread, macaroni and cheese, dishwashing liquid, 100-watt light bulbs, lemon heads, mint chocolate chip ice cream......."

You ever get the feeling your characters are doing nothing more than reading off a metaphoric grocery list of items you want them to say without any real action behind it? That's pretty much where I am now with my book. They walk, they talk, they nod, they shrug, etc but I'm not sure if it's just words or actual story progression. I'm writing through this feeling because who am I to quibble with progression of any sort? I had typed the sentence "I'm still only writing a handful of words at a time" but after re-reading it realized that's not the mindset I need to be in. Rather, I should say "I am still writing" period. Exclamation point! (Bonus points to anyone who recognizes the slight nod to The Golden Girls) I'm actually right on the verge of an upcoming scene that should be not only creepy but a turning point for my characters. I'm excited about it and can't wait to see how it turns out.

On a side note, I just remembered I also need toilet paper and Twizzlers.

Bear Suits? Oh, My

I like to check out blog patrol several times a week (not every day, I swear) to see who's reading my blog (besides my mom and Andrea) and how they come to find me. Seeing as this is a blog about writing or at least my lackthereof, you would think readers might stumble across me through Google or Yahoo using writerly type words such as plot, characterization, tension, worldbuilding, the next Nora Roberts, etc. Unfortunately the biggest draw I seem to have so far are "movies with bear suits" and "how much does a writer make". The latter I can see, though I certainly don't have the answer as I will literally write for chocolate and water as long as someone wants to read it. The bear suit though I suppose is my own fault as I had posted a review of a Nicholas Cage movie AKA Bear Man. The Wicker Man will still live on as the worst movie I have ever seen and that's saying a lot. I like bad movies...hell I love them but they have to be of a certain badness that is enjoyable to watch. A particular favorite is an 80's movie (I can't think of the title) they play on SciFi Channel every so often about alien slugs from outer space who crawl in your ears and eat your brain. It is delightfully bad and I would highly recommend it. Speaking of slugs eating your brain, what precisely is this post about and how does it relate to writing? Umm...I'll have to get back to you on that.

The Dog Ate My Homework?

I'll have to admit straight out I didn't write this weekend. I have no excuse since I doubt you'll buy the one above. But what's so strange is I'm not beating myself up about it like usual. I think it's because I finally have that feeling of hope settled firmly inside that tells me I can write. The desire is back after all this time. The want to write was always there but not the burning desire that gives me those ever elusive butterflies. Not that I'm allowing this to give me permission to loll about like a slug (do slugs loll?). I know discipline is a necessity for a writer who wants to succeed, be it in being published or at least in finishing a book. Right now, my goal is to finish my book.....that and to eat some chocolate. I need at least one goal I can finish before the day is through.

Another quick post to proclaim to the world (and probably mostly to myself) that I'm still writing! Granted, I don't think Nora Roberts has anything to worry about, but I am still persevering in spite of myself. My characters are at present mostly just moving around mumbling lines to each other. But, at least they're moving and with them my story is progressing inch by inch forward. I've decided not to update my progress meter until next week as a kind of incentive to write more than I have been. We'll see what happens.

If You Write It They Will Come

Believe it or not, I actually wrote a bit this weekend. Okay, so maybe it was heavy on "a bit" but still writing. When I finished, I looked at my word count just to see if all those extra "actually, really, just, etc" type words I actually really just use way too much helped up my word count and found to my shock I had an overall count of 23,000 odd words. Now unless my multiplying like bunnies theory somehow came true (see previous post), something was seriously off. If you glance to the right, you can clearly see my progress meter is firmly entrenched at 3,905. Maybe my muse had come back while I was playing Dynomite on Yahoo and decide to finish up a few chapters for me? Unfortunately, nothing so dramatic. When I recently started writing again, I pulled out a previous book I had been working on before starting the new Paranormal Romance. This one too is a paranormal but without the romance. I've ingeniously titled it Ghost Story and it's been nagging at my brain for some time now. And the fact that I had completely forgotten about the Paranormal Romance I'd been blathering about for quite a while tells me maybe I was right to return to the previous book. Either that or I have schizophrenia. Actually just really, I'm okay with both.

Well, it took me three days but I managed to write a total of 664 words. This is quite a feat for me seeing as how the only writing I've been doing lately has been confined to my checkbook (damn bills). But I have learned something even through this minuscule amount of writing. A little is better than none and it just might be enough to get the creative blood pumping again. Maybe all I'll be able to manage for a while is a paragraph a day or even every two days, but at least I'm writing and that's what's important. Just glancing over and seeing my progress meter balancing so tantalizing on the edge of 4,000 total words fills me with joy because at least it's finally moving after months of inactivity. My muse may not have come back but that doesn't mean I have to wait around for her twiddling my thumbs (I tried twiddling my thumbs once and it really wasn't all that much fun).

Number of the Day

Just a short post to say that as of 1:45 p.m. (Eastern Standard Time, Check Local Listings), I have actually written 237 words! Oh, sure maybe that only totals up to a few short paragraphs, tiny actually seeing as how most of it is dialogue, but it still counts. And why you might ask am I here posting when I clearly should still be writing? Oh...uh...good point. Back to work!

Word of the Day

Persistent: Persisting, especially in spite of opposition, obstacles, discouragement; lasting or enduring tenaciously (courtesy of Dictionary.com).

Another Aspiring Author: She who is not persisting, especially in spite of opposition, obstacles, discouragement; lasting or enduring tenaciously.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I cannot seem to get myself together enough to write. And it's not about just being published for me (though that would be soooo nice). At this point, I'd just be happy to write again. I miss it. I miss the flluttery butterflies I get in my stomach when I sit down at my computer excited to find where my story will take me. I miss thinking about my characters and imagining things they might say as I go throughout my normal daily life. I miss the words falling from my fingertips and somehow arranging themselves on the page in ways I didn't know they would. And what's so sad about the whole thing is it's my own damn fault. I'm no busier than anyone else. It's about priorities and where I choose to place writing on my to do list. Perhaps I should be concentrating more on the what the word "commitment" means before "lazy author" becomes permanently affixed by my name in the dictionary.

The No Update Update

Well, here it is the first week of February, almost an entire month since I last posted. And what exciting and productive news do I have to report? If you guessed a big fat zero, you get a cookie. Go ahead, shove the whole thing in your mouth if you want....no one's looking. Actually, I haven't been completely useless the past few weeks. I did manage somehow to work up enough energy to write a whole sentence. Yep, you heard me, a complete sentence with nouns and verbs and other grammar type words. I guess I was hoping maybe they would mutiple like bunnies when I wasn't looking but alas this was not to be.

Still no postcard from my errant Muse. She's probably lying on a beach somewhere being served margaritas and chocolate by a cabana boy named Raoul. Tramp. Of course, if that were true, I don't suppose I'd be in a hurry to come home either.

Gone But Not Forgotten

I'm talking about my muse unfortunately. When I said in my last post that she had recently relocated to Siberia, I'm afraid I was being much too optimistic. I've now realized the fickle thing has actually gotten lost somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle. I was prepared to battle snow up to my eyeballs and 7-foot Yetis to reclaim her, but this is too much. *sigh* I'm truly at a loss. I suppose I could run an ad in the "Lost and Found" section of my local newspaper and see what happens. [Lost: Obstinate muse who never comes when called, is only barely paper trained, and answers to the name Her Royal Imperial Highness]. If anyone happens to see her, first kick her in the shins for me then tell her she's sorely missed.